My memoirs. Volume first. Chapter 22-26.

Kobrin → Outstanding persons

Chapter 22
My uncle as wonderful predictor. – Burl-Bendet and Sikhovsky. – Hearing about a wonderful prediction. – He became famous. – Plan of the grandfather. – Position of Jews after revolt.
During revolt as it was told, position of Jews was especially heavy. The income disappeared, shops were empty. Landowners and peasants were not to the city. The last were afraid of the Polish gangs – and the Jewish need was immense. Jews were afraid to leave the town, and all sources of existence ran low.
Handicraftsmen went to Odessa and to Volhynia, sold houses for bread, sold and put everything that had if only to survive.
One hope was that such unequal conflict will not be long: stronger Russians of course will win against Poles, and then life will be started over again, and again God will help as did not leave before. So Jews in bet-ha-midrashakh considered.
But meanwhile Jews – nervous, broken, shaken and lost, argued on revolt and listened to any political news.
I then studied at the uncle of the rabbi. Also I remember that at that time there arrived to it scary uneasy, choking Burl-Bendet and told that to his landowner Sikhovsky the gang of landowners came, fir-trees also drank and still took from it three thousand rubles. Wishing to clear a name of the landowner, he reported about them to the military chief in Shereshevo and, according to Muravyyov's decree, the medal relied the landowner. Only the military chief, instead of sending a medal, sent for the landowner of three Cossacks that those took him, and Burl-Bendet is afraid whether will do that harm.
Therefore – whether the rabbi that the landowner was released and if the prayer of the rabbi works, then he, Burl-Bendet can pray, will give in honor reb Meira-Chudotvortsa eighteen rubles [1].
The rabbi, the wise person, understood, of course, that nothing bad to the landowner will be made, and only asked:
"How many versts from the estate Chekhchov to Shereshev and how many – to Kaments?"
"From the estate to Shereshev – two versts, and three – to Kaments".
"In that case - the rabbi told, - that having come back home, you there of course will already meet the landowner with a medal".
And in several hours Izroel-Aron, the son-in-law Burl-Bendeta, with a joyful message came to the rabbi: the father-in-law already met the landowner with a medal and sends to the rabbi eighteen rubles in honor of the river Meira-Chudotvortsa.
At once this history became known and the prediction of the rabbi is considered for something wonderful. In the city and in all the district the miracle acquired a heap of any tales, and the rabbi is declared the real wonder-worker. And to it there was no rest. Whether the woman was going to give rise – went to the rabbi, crying and asking that prayed. Through some time came to congratulate the rabbi: the woman safely gave birth to the boy or the girl. And if someone got sick, right there addressed the rabbi, and that put a mug of river Meira Baal-ja-Nesa in which put how many could, the patient recovered, and the glory about the rabbi as about the real reviver from the dead and the magician, spread every day.
Here became it not before occupations, and I at the uncle turned into something like the wonder-worker too. Not in with standing to listen more to female talk and requests and in thousand time to repeat one and too, I transferred by tone of the wonder-worker:
"Rabi sends you blessing, go home, the Lord, of course, will help, will help …"
Because of the alarm connected with revolt which only increased popularity of the rabbi as the wonder-worker people began to come to it from Brisk in tens of britskas, were flown down from all directions so that it was impossible to be engaged. The rabbi already decided to be engaged four hours a day, from twelve to four. I locked a door and read to it, and in all the sinagogalny yard was chyorno from the people expecting the wonder-worker. And every day to the people everything arrived, and there it became closer. Began to come already from Bialystok, and so far came that the rabbi had to call the son to Simkh from Pinsk. That arrived together with the wife and children. Were put already to use of a note and a piece of paper written by the son and already still the person was necessary to serve clients. But also this person, Beynusha-shames, there was soon insufficiently, and the uncle had to take to the aid the son that stood in the doorway, without passing all infections – and miracles became more and more.
At that time played an important role as the Rebbe's wonder-worker from Nesvizha. He was the biggest wonder-worker from all tsadik. But the kamenetsky rabbi was even more. And I already with it was not engaged. I was not engaged with anybody, only prepared for discussion with the father and with all Hasidim about Hasidic Judaism and its opponents.
After revolt the government cancelled all landowner privileges including kamenetsky rent. We were left absolutely without earnings. But in the Jewish line it became easier at once: blew softly fresh air, both in material, and in spiritual sense. For Jews there came a new era. Instead of as earlier to turn near the landowner who was the only source of existence for the Jew wealthy Jews could become misters now: large lesotorgovets and dealers in grain, and in general it was possible to be engaged in large trade.
After revolt nearly ninety percent of estates remained in hands with landowners. Landowners tragicly died, and landowners, having remained one, were not able and could not conduct the economy by means of hired peasants, the former serfs. These ladies who got used to wide, magnificent life, occupied only with balls and a coquetry could not at once moreover without husbands in any way, turn into good hostesses and have serious concepts about agriculture.
Came to Ded the first to mind how to help landowners, and at the same time to make something also for Jews. Namely – Jews will lease manors which those are not capable to conduct at landowners, it literally will help out landowners, will yield annual reliable revenue and will relieve of concern that their manor vanishes, will remove a stone from heart.
The grandfather right there went to the familiar landowners and laid out to them the above-mentioned plan. He explained to them that in a present hard time they, apparently, should hand over the possession to Jews from what landowners right there will gain certain income. The same is ruined in the houses with a small number of the landowners who remained after revolt. In this situation it is difficult for them to undertake economy, employing for work of peasants, the former serfs. And for them it will be correct to lease the estate too. It is clear, that the offer it at that moment very much suited landowners and landowners, it was truly dictated by the life.
And at once the grandfather leased several estates, for each of children – the certain estate. For itself took Vilevinsky Prusku's estate (there was two Pruski: one belonged to Oserevsky, and another – to Vilevinsky), in four versts from Kaments – together with distillery. The first years the family lived in the city, and he sat with people almost all week there, coming home only to the Sabbath.
Thus wealthy Jews began to rent estates, and in a short space of time not less than sixty five percent of estates of the Grodno province were populated with Jews. Also it is possible to tell that landowners and certain landowners were very happy with newly made Jewish settlers.
At first rented estates cheap, but then prices of corn began to grow, and so excited a rent for estates that years through ten work on the earth was for the Jewish tenants not such profitable business.
Landowners and landowners began to sell also the woods, turning everything into money. It did not remain unaddressed the Jews who turned into large lesotorgovets too. They bought the different woodlands – and for sale on the place, and for construction of houses. Delivered building materials to all large cities where there was a recovered trade. Large building material was sent also to Danzig.
To the wood there was the same, as to estates. At first it was sold very cheap, namely - two hundred-three hundred rubles for tithe of the good wood. But in several years of the price terribly grew, and the prices were raised by Jews. Tens of merchants came to buy the woodlands, and the competition strongly complicated trade. The tithe of the wood cost not two-three hundred rubles any more, and whole twelve! …
Over time and the treasury began to sell in tithes the woods, as well as the confiscated woods of landowners. The attitude of treasury towards Jews was not such as now, and it traded with them the same as with non Jews.
After revolt Muravyyov issued the decree forbidding to Poles to buy the land in Lithuania. He also did not forget Jews to whom its decree forbade it too that blocked to Jews a way to life and to earnings.
And still Jews in these interesting times in many places established brewing and distilleries, large water and windmills, maslodaviln, dye-houses and t other. Raised big herds – sheep, cows, bulls, etc. Herds fertilized the earth the manure, and instead of former, at landowners, shocks from an acre [2], the earth gave six now. Jews owned big milk plants, bred horses, tried to obtain thoroughbred posterity. They also wrote out cars for plowing of the earth with any devices for simplification and acceleration of work
Manors took other form. The earth became more fertile, and they did gold of each trifle. Grain was only one of many products received by Jews from manors thanks to their energy, ability and work. They gave to business day and night, looking for ways to receive different combinations as much as possible by nature.
The landowners who came back home through some time, exhausted and tormented with prisons and Siberia did not learn the possession. Everything looked differently: everywhere beauty, purity and gloss, is a lot of new structures, cars and stables. They were just christened, seeing a paradise garden into which "kikes" turned their manor. As well landowners praised to husbands of Jews for their energy: all work - the husband works day and night, sons, daughters-in-law, daughters and sons-in-law - all in work, and nothing at them vanishes. Not as at them, at landowners – what they knew? In everything relied on the drunkard house-keeper. The landowner told that having begun with one thousand two hundred, today she already receives three thousand five hundred rubles a year from a manor.
Other landowners envied Jews, dismissed them and started working. Looked narrowly at the rules established by Jews and began to operate also. But more than two-three years it did not proceed, the manor came back to a former state. Something was not that, business did not go, everything fell apart, and the farther, the it is more. And they handed over estates to Jews again.
Time it, however, differed not only commerce. In the same time Jews undertook also education. The government opened before them all schools. The mass of Jews became doctors, lawyers, engineers. The government allowed them even to the state positions, and in many cities Jews became investigators, doctors, had ranks of colonels, generals, etc.
It is unconditional that for Jews in the Russian galut it was the best time. During this period they parted on all large Russian cities and were engaged in big affairs. In Moscow the big Jewish community was for a short time formed of fifty thousand Jews [3], it is a lot of made for development of the Moscow industry.
At Nicholas I in Kiev the Jew was afraid to go outside. Floating on berlina across Dnieper from Pinsk in Nikolaev spent the night at themselves in cabins, being afraid to leave to the city to spend the night in hotel. And if someone also decided, then was afraid to put out the head from a window. If the Jew went to buy goods on Sunday - ordinary, at Russian as any Jewish dealer was not there - that was necessary to pay so much how many the seller requested. And a grief to the Jew if he dares to offer less. Right there will be hit on teeth, it will be beaten till it bleeds, without daring to tell at the same time words in the protection. Here, on this place, he in general does not dare to stand! … Almost the same that it is possible to see [4] now.
But later, at Alexander P, in Kiev the Jewish community was formed of fifty thousand Jews [5]. Among them there were millionaires, sakharozavodchik. The largest groceries prospered then in Kiev.
After revolt when rent of the city was cancelled, we rented estates, were accepted to processing of fields, somehow earning a living what could not get used to in any way. Here wisdom of the grandfather could not help: landowners died absolutely! The grandfather never worried about money, he considered that landowners and city rent will be always.
We did not move to estates yet. That is, still was considered indecent to live in the village. We kept in estates of people, and there every day went

Chapter 23
On the eve of my wedding. – I saw the bride. – Who the first? – "Rather, rather!" – Hasidim and their opponents at me at a wedding. – Sermon.
In 5625 (1865) the father began to insist on that quickly to marry me: I already was seventeen years old, it is just a shame before people. The wedding was appointed to a month elyul1. Had to celebrate at us as the bride – the orphan, without father and without mother. I needed to make clothes. The father wished that I went to a hupa in shoes and stockings and in a satin caftan. He also rejected karlinsky kleyzmer, having preferred brisksky kleyzmer led by the famous kleyzmerom-Hasidic and the badkhanom-Hasidic as Todros-badkhan was an opponent of Hasidic Judaism. I had to a wedding two months to cry, boil and try to obtain not to go to a hupa in shoes and stockings and that at a wedding there was only Shebsl-kleyzmer. With great difficulty and by means of "the only son" to Arya-Labe I achieved that I will go to a hupa in boots, and a day before a wedding, on Thursday, there arrived Shebsl. There arrived on Thursday also the bride with relatives, having come to the uncle Mordkhe-Labe who had to have all wedding. Then it was accepted that a day before a wedding, at twelve o'clock, women and girls come to dance, and kleyzmer play several hours. It occurs at the bride. Later, by the evening, men gathered and went with kleyzmer to meet the groom, and that told the sermon, then ate cookies with jam and drank. Then the groom accompanied by kleyzmer was conducted down the street on the closing ceremony of the face of the bride, then – in bet-ha-midrash to a hupa, and from a hupa – all society, with kleyzmer, went home to the bride. There was already a dinner where danced and walked till the morning.
If the wedding happened on Friday evening, then guests together with kleyzmer took the groom with the bride after a hupa home, left to pray and again came to "seven holidays". It is clear, that not all came. Next morning, on Saturday, all close friends together with the family went to the groom and took away him in bet-ha-midrash where it was "caused" to reading the Torah, and dances and a dinner continued on an end of Saturday.
My Hasidic father did not consider it necessary to show me the bride before hupy. Only it arrived as all family, young and old, went on it to look, except me. All city ran to look at the bride, came and told me a joyful message: the bride is very beautiful … on a face – any freckle. Were also such who wished to go and look at the bride once again. And again came back with a joyful message and confirmed: really there is no freckle, and I suffered that do not show me the bride.
I asked to Arya-Labe, the only person capable to make a favor in case of need, to go with me to the uncle to look at the bride. And early in the morning, in the house at the uncle before there women gathered, I saw the bride. It was really beautiful. I became puzzled a little, however safely wished it mazl-t and asked what it does … I wanted to sit, consider better it a beautiful face, but to Arya-Labe took me by hand and told:
"Get up, it is not necessary to sit at the bride … now".
And I sadly went to myself, i.e. to the house of the grandfather.
At a meeting with the groom there was an uncle rabbi, I said the sermon. From my sermon all Kamenets raged, and it was cheerful.
Under hupy the bride pushed me around, I decided that it is unintentional. After a hupa native brides right there caught it and took away that it came home to me. It for them was like a sign that she will order me. In those days attached it great value. Who exactly, the groom or the bride, coming back after a hupa, will take the first step in the house, that also will order. But to Arya-Labe - for my part, without wishing to concede, quickly ran on the road that I came home earlier. The bride's relatives did not want to concede "superiority" too, and the real run turned out, just God knows that. On me was over a satin caftan kitl, and from above - a coat. But the tailor Iyeguda-Labe to me narrowed a coat, and during run it was unstitched. Seemed kitl, and it was very a shame to me.
The bride with the relatives appeared on a terrace meanwhile, and I a terrace where conducted six steps, did not reach yet. Here declared to Arya-Labe that the bride has to descend from a terrace that the groom with the bride entered a door together.
There's nothing to be done - had to go down the bride with relatives on steps, and on both sides watched that the groom with the bride crossed a threshold at the same time. We rose on a terrace, and from two parties shouted:
"Together, together!"
The bride, however, fast put the leg on a threshold – means, now will order me!. Dexterous to Arya-Labe, however, noticed it and did not allow – ordered to go down to us to both again, and on both sides again cried:
"Together, together!" - As drill soldiers. I in soul laughed at all history and gave it the chance to enter a little earlier. Let it will be pleasant to it. And mine managed again to put a leg at a door. Here to Arya-Labe absolutely became angry and told that the groom with the bride should not come here at all: they should be conducted to the house of the groom, that is to the grandfather. And if she tries to pass ahead of the groom further, then let it will last though all night long, she it will not be allowed. We were spent with kleyzmer still some distance to the house of the grandfather. But there was same high a terrace. Her family, however, and not being valid the charter, apparently, to altercate with Arya-Labe, stopped the attempts, though shouted:
"Together, together!"
Also watched our legs which safely passed this time, having appeared in the room at the same time.
Here from the uncle to the apartment of the grandfather brought for the groom with the bride golden broth as after a hupa they have to remain together in the certain room, and we ate the well-known broth at the grandfather. Kleyzmera were divided: several kleyzmer together with Shebsl played at the grandfather, and a little at the uncle. Here Saturday came, said blessing over candles. Strangers left in shul, and we prayed at home.
The grandfather did not agree with the father. He did not want that at my wedding there were Hasidim, and they agreed that Hasidim will be only in the evening on Friday, on Saturday morning and till the end of Saturday. Hasidim sang, spoke on Hasidic subjects, and I listened to their speeches. But they did not know to what degree I am already their opponent. To me they seemed strange with the Hasidic Judaism. Kleyzmera played almost all week. Every day arranged a big feast for all city as then it was necessary.

Chapter 24
New year at the Rebbe. – Anger of the father because I do not go to the Rebbe. – My troubles because of Hasidic Judaism. – War with Hasidic Judaism. – Debate. – Impression at house of debate.
To Rosh - ha - Shana the father went to Slonim to the Rebbe. Right after a wedding it began to concern me very seriously. Never told me what to do. He decided that I already understand, and began to address regularly me only by means of a look, that is, I to it looked in the face also understood that I have to make or tell. He considered superfluous to say to me that it is necessary to go to the Rebbe - after a wedding all Hasidic children go to the Rebbe, and here when he went, he considered that I will right there be picked up:
"The father, I want to go too",
But I did not tell it to it. It wounded him in heart, and he went to the Rebbe one.
There it was very a shame to it as he could not hide from the Rebbe that the tenth elyulya married the son – the Rebbe well knew me and foretold that I will become the beautiful Hasid, and here it comes without son. To it from it it was very heavy.
And having returned the ambassador Rosh - ha - Shana from Slonim, he very much became angry about me and just burned down with the sharp words and any remarks, as if by the way, like that:
"In the next world I will wait from you for an award!".
Then I decided to put it an end of times on always: to sustain with it debate that both of us did not suffer. Debate is something else. I was confident in the victory. Let him know that I am an opponent of Hasidic Judaism that any more I will never become the Hasid – and with it will reconcile.
But everything occurred not as I assumed, and there was it not easy business. Especially with such person as my father – the real angel who was bringing up me a look, eyes. What was to argue with the father - and with such father, proving that his way – absolutely false? It was fatally difficult for me!
And I looked for all the time of such case which would give me courage and freedom in this case.
My young beautiful wife, unfortunately, too was a Hasid. Brought up by the sister's husband, the ardent karlinsky Hasid, she often told how she prepared fish for reb Aron, the karlinsky Rebbe staying with her brother-in-law (in Pinsk remarkably prepared fish). The Rebbe ate fishes (and there was he not to maleficiate, the quite good eater) and noticed that he did not eat such beautiful fish long ago.
"Who prepared it?" – he Asked. He was told who: the orphan, the fifteen-year-old girl prepared. And not only fish – everything that she prepared, was extraordinary tasty. He blessed it, having wished that the big Hasid became her husband. It is possible to understand her chagrin when she saw that I – any not the Hasid, and do not go to the Rebbe.
My wife played an important role in a family. All loved it for beauty, economy and mind, and the father very much hoped that the mind and beauty she of course will lead me to Hasidic Judaism.
On Saturday and a holiday with the wife the grandfather invited us to a table. It is clear, that as the Hasid, I would not give such pleasure to the grandfather, but now I was glad to this offer and came to the grandfather early as it is accepted at misnagd. After food I saw from a window as the father comes back from shtiblya. Usually it passed by the house of the grandfather, and I, together with Libe, my young wife, went home, and the father spoke with her about Hasidic Judaism, and every time taunted me that it was unpleasant to me.
And here, wishing that the wife made of me the Hasid, my kind father came so far that strongly humiliated me before it, and before me ennobled it, and it was especially painful to me. He did not understand that in such way it can spoil our relations only. It turned out so that for it if I am not a Hasid, then let I will have a bad life.
On Simkhat-Tora1 we with Libe ate at the grandfather and when went to one o'clock in the afternoon from the grandfather home, the father conducted all Hasidim to himself. Here Yankel-izgotovitel of vinegar and Shebsl-perepischik took out from furnaces in the city all food and brought to the father for Hasidim. Ah, to what favourite day!
I saw the father with Hasidim and heard Yankel's voice. All already were tipsy. Also send all hop - the company to us, and we with Libe went on other party. Yankele, wishing to hook me, shouted on all street as only he was able:
"Also the person of the father and the mother will leave". And is even louder: "Both the father and the mother, and it will be stuck to the wife" 2. And again:
"Both the father, and mother, and it will be stuck to the wife". And so on, so far we did not approach the house of the father. Houses I asked the father as it allows this Yankel to offend me so. But Yankel got into conversation:
"What, where? I only translated it a piece from the Pentateuch in the spirit of that German apikoyres of Dessauer".
He meant German translation of river of Moshe Mendelssohn called by river of Moshe of Dessauer3.
"Und the Tat, und to mother", - shouted he.
"But you shouted "juntas", - I objected.
"Is not present – und, und", - he was amused.
Well, it is necessary to finish it today, I thought. To get drunk and argue properly. At drunk there is more courage.
On an outcome of Simkhat-Tora magid always arranged for all city owners an entertainment at the expense of the city. Came to a day prayer, arranged a feast with roast goose, fruit, wine and vodka. Wine was sent in advance, on the eve of Simkhat-Tora, and it was cheerful. Fir-trees also drank till twelve in the night, sang and danced. It was already such long, annual tradition.
The son of a magid together with his son-in-law arranged a feast, especially for the studying youth too, and there too boozed till the morning, also with good binge and with roast goose.
And, with Moyshe-Aron, I agreed with it that today on Simkhat-Tora I will throw the father with Hasidim and I will openly booze at it with our studying youth.
Time at the father fun began that. Began to be seated at the table. I sat down too, but sat already, ike a cat on a hot tin roof, and without hesitation, got up because of a table and went to Moyshe-Arona where all our young people had a good time. Has to tell that it was one best days of my life. A little at me was such days. All of us, twelve young people, the best pupils, danced, kissed and sang. Something spiritual attracted us to each other, there was a wish to kiss more and more... So we boozed till eleven in the night, and then went, drunk, to owners and with them danced.
I remember that I seized one Jewish owner, reb Shmerl, my father an arch whom I very much loved, embraced and in the fulness of the heart strong pressed to itself. I was very healthy guy and slightly did not strangle him. He could not escape from my hands, and several people hardly from me tore off him. After that I right there fell down the earth, fatally drunk that was quite opposite, I was dragged to some room where put to bed, and at one o'clock in the morning Moyshe-Aron woke me that I went home.
Houses I found Hasidim only accepted to fish. It was cheerful. Yankele, the kotsky Hasid who, naturally, was drunk as Lot, right there noticed me and told:
"Hatskel, you came from Moyshe-Arona, devils would take his father".
I right there cut off:
"Devils would take the father of your Rebbe!" - Especially rough expression into Yiddish …
If Hasidim were not afraid of the grandfather, they right there on the place would beat me, to pleasure of the father. But they were afraid of the grandfather therefore, having gritted teeth, they kept silent. And in general did not tell the word any more. It became silent
I went directly to myself to a bedroom. There my young wife lay and bitterly cried. She considered that I spoiled to Hasidim all dinner. They still would like to booze. Blood runs cold in veins, a grief to ears - to hear how the son Aron-Leyzerov Moyshe curses the fatherly Rebbe his ancestors.
The wife left with me the house the sideway conducting to Polish a church at and on the road so bitterly cried that not in forces of it to take out, I was ready right there, near it, to die.
"I love you, Hatskel, - she said weepingly, but now it is better for me to fail, than farther with you to live. Do not think that I want to get, God forbid, a divorce, but if you offend on the father of the yankelevsky kotsky Rebbe, I just am afraid to live with you …"
And she cried more and more bitterly. I was silent, and she so long and with such awful sobbing cried that I was in full horror.
On the way home I heard voices of Hasidim. They already dispersed. All of them spoke about "misfortune", and did not sing, as usual, on the road. My words terribly struck them. I to them and in the truth spoiled a holiday.
When I returned to a bedroom, the father called me:
"Sit down, Hatskel", - he told.
And my wife ordered to go to sleep.
"What is with you, Hatskel what with you is created?" - he Asked by the silent, shivering voice.
I faced it and was frightened: the person is white, eyes red. It I did not see it yet. I did not notice anger in his look, the anger was not at all, only one grief. I somehow had to see it after death of the child, my sister. But I in his look I did not see such awful expression.
I wanted to kiss it and to ask forgiveness. I was ready right there, to give on the place for it the life – let to me will better pierce heart, than to see the father with such person. I knew how it is painful to my beloved father of whom I so think highly about today how many health it costed to it and than it, the poor creature, was guilty!
I admit that when I sometimes want to make something bad – as it with happens to everyone – I should cause an image of my father in memory, and I right there abstain from it. But unfortunately, the father not always comes me back to memory.
I was ready to give it my life, my body and blood, but how to be with soul how was to believe in what it is not trusted in? But how I could ruin two people, my father and my beautiful young wife dear to me now?
"Well you are silent? – He asked me at last. – I ask you, speak. I understood that we should talk to you, at last. Tell me everything that at you at heart. I am guilty that a little with you spoke about Hasidic Judaism. I had too high opinion of you. I always considered you as the quick-witted boy, considered that you will understand everything, without excess talk. Now I see that I was mistaken. Never I with you went in for Hasidic Judaism. If I with you spoke, so far would not come".
Already was after midnight. A sun blind was closed, the candle burned. I started talking … I spoke long, and only it opened a mouth for the answer, I right there picked up and said what he wanted to tell. I was terribly excited, and the father sat as he stone, listened and did not interrupt. It was its feature and when I terminated, there was a day. I looked for hours: seven hours.
He saw me in a new way. From where it undertook? He gave me Itzhak-Oyshera, considering that he fulfilled the duty, without knowing what in me accumulated for all this time. He considered that I fill with everything, but made a small mistake: he considered that I fill with everything as the Hasid, and I filled as misnagid. It fell to a bed, as in a faint, with loud groan.
My heart clenched. I left his bedroom and have well a good cry. Having a little calmed down, washed out eyes that the wife did not understand that I cried. In a bedroom at me right there darkened in eyes: my beautiful wife lies in a bed and all night long cries so pillows were blotted from tears. At the sight of me, right there burst into tears in a voice so the father with mother came running in a fright. The father looked round, understood what occurs, and right there left to himself.
I did not know how to calm her. Oh God! I already danced the – dispute with the father for which I prepared one and a half years and any more did nothing – did not study, did not read scientific books – already took place. And what now? I considered that then he will calm down, everything will digest that we will be able to live with it. I promised it that I will undertake to study. I resolved - to study first of all regularly. Livelihood at me it is not necessary to eat, care for the wife. She is dear to the father as life, it it will be good, and I will be able to sit and study, I will not be learned on the rabbi yet. And it will be very easy for me to receive the place of the rabbi. Haim Volozhiner's grandson was held at Jews in big high esteem in those days, the head of the Volozhinsky eshiva somehow will give me a position, and my young beautiful wife will be rebetsin5.
I resolved it though I nearly died of her tears. But it was clear, as its crying eventually will calm down, and, having collected the strength, I went in bet-ha-midrash to pray.
It was the heavy night which especially deeply was stamped on my memory.

Chapter 25
Dispute with Hasidim. – I want to go to Volozhin. – The father against. – Revolt of the wife against me. – My wife got sick. – We in quarrel. – We reconciled. – I begin to study. – "Collect, children, coins!" – "Palace". – "Hatskel's generation".
The wife asked to make by it a favor - to pray in the shtibl. On Friday evening, during a prayer, the uncle's son reb Simkh called me. to come to it on a bet with Hasidim. I agreed. Three minyan of Hasidim with reb Aurèle at the head came. They prepared for dispute several days. It was especially important to attract me to Hasidic Judaism to them - was considered that I fill with everything that I – vigorous small, like to work for the benefit of society and I will be able to turn to Hasidic Judaism of those young people who married this year. They were also afraid of me: knew that if I remain misnagdy, then Hasidic Judaism in the environment of Kaments's youth it will be finished that for them was a life question.
I carried out dispute, and won against them easily. Right there answered all their questions, and nobody could answer my questions.
"The Rebbe will answer you everything", - angrily noticed reb Simkh. I told:
"What to me to hold Hasidic Judaism, to ask questions and to look for who will answer me them if my heart to it does not lie? It is better to stick to an old way, it is not required and to ask".
"And what you should ask?"
"For this purpose it is necessary to go to the Rebbe".
"I give you fifty rubles on expenses, go to Carleen to the Rebbe, reb to Aron. He will answer you everything".
And it promised - as soon as I tell him that I go to Carleen to the Rebbe - to give me fifty rubles. On it dispute ended, I came out the winner, all considered me very capable and started to respect.
On Saturday I prayed in the shtibl, and all week – in new bet-ha-midrashe where all capable young people prayed. After a prayer I for days on end led discussions about Hasidic Judaism, and all knew about moyoy to a victory. Having become interested in dispute, in new more and more young people bet-ha-midrash came, I it retold arguments of Hasidim and my objections. After that I was invited in old bet-ha-midrash. There I retold everything again, and has to admit that in four decades which passed after this event in Kamentsa any Hasid did not increase, and till today it remained the pronounced misnagidsky city.
As I already told, I was mistaken in an assessment of consequences of the dispute with the father. I thought that the father will gradually get used that I misnagid, and will reconcile to it. But it did not happen. He began me to revenge that was not in its character at all, abandoned me causticities, took in addition to the aid my wife that was already dishonest. Did not touch it at all that it can spoil all my life with the beloved wife.
Seeing that business becomes worse and worse that the father as though decided to spoil my life with the wife, I conceived to go in Volozhin to study. And so I wanted to be a rabbi! In Volozhin I will have in anything no need, and some end will be reached. To tell the truth, I did not want to leave at all the eighteen-year-old beautiful wife with whom together we stayed only several months. But there's nothing to be done - further so it was impossible to live.
I wanted to go with the passport, without wishing to rotate among people without document in which then there was at all no need therefore decided to have patience. However, the first passport is issued not without the knowledge of the father. But I already was someone, and me, to the famous young man, Yakov collector of course will issue the passport, without asking the father. The collector promised, but at me sent behind the back to ask the father. Only then I understood the nonsense that I too much about myself understood that of course, he had to ask the father, and the father right there asked me:
"And for what to you, Hatskel, is necessary the passport?"
"For a trip to Volozhin", - I looked down.
It is clear, that at it the patience burst, and in the face of my wife it released to me two hot slaps in the face.
"Only several months after a wedding, - he shouted, - and you already want to leave the wife. Porush was!" - That was, from its party, not absolutely honestly. I am afraid that he not so much cared for the wife as wanted it to incite against me. And it continued:
"To leave the orphan wife? Where it slykhano? This atrocity! And in general – what right you have to take such important step, without having asked the father? But it is fine – not to ask the father, but the wife? … You are pious as you speak, you know how it is told in the Torah: year to stay at home, even during war! But you want to leave the wife to study! But is not present - not to study: you can study also at home, nobody forbids it to you. There has to be something else. Perhaps you hate the wife?" – he Asked, diplomatically grinning. Blood at me stiffened in veins: such beautiful wife, I so love her that would give for it life – and it to me pours salt on wounds! …
Also he told it at its presence that to incite it against me. So it to me in a row took out several hours soul, representing some villain. The one who is capable to abandon the wife right after a wedding is not the person, and he does not even know how after that to call me.
My wife, as usual, burst into tears, and the father, though loved her with all the heart and of course could not watch how she cries, did not regret her tears and continued to inflate fire. Only after she it crying nearly fainted consciousness – the head ached, the person burned – he was frightened and urgently sent for Yashkoy-vrachom. But "doctor" did not appear at home, and here began. All family ran together, it was put to bed, and I turned white as death. Here I in practice saw how the father hates opponents of Hasidic Judaism and as awfully it concerns me.
When it was caught on theft Itzhak-Bør with a key from cash desk from which who knows what is the time stole, the father was so cool, so quiet and did not tell any thin word against the thief, only coolly, quietly noticed:
"Answer me at least, reb Itzhak-Bør, what is the time you already have this key, and also - stealing from me whether you did it on conscience?"
After that it with it was fairly counted and when Itzhak-Bør declared that it will remain without bread now and will not have, than to come back home to Brisk, the father gave it one hundred and wished good luck and good luck, etc. such friendly tone as if that not the thief, but the true righteous person.
But concerning the father to me I now for the first time clearly saw cold rage and vindictiveness. At the same time I was not any street urchin, I was known in the city, were respectful to me, so why he with me behaves so cruelly? It is simple to kill me it is ready!
But having thought, I learned to do it justice. First, I saw that from a misnagd the Hasid it is possible to become, but back – in any way. Misnagid is a just believing Jew, but the Hasid considers that the sky, God and paradise exist only for it and as far as to it the Hasidic Judaism is expensive, misnagda are so hated. The person does not watch at the own child, it already not the child any more any more if passes to hated misnagda. And as I was a senior, and after me – four more boys – the father just was afraid, as if I did not cripple brothers the misnagdstvo. And it was right, so it also happened: all my brothers – misnagda.
And to my misfortune as it was already told, my wife became the big Hasid, and the father through her battled against me. There would be no it such beautiful, he would clench teeth and waved on me a hand. But the father understood that she is infinitely dear to me and, in this sense – force which he uses against me.
My desire to leave, besides, frightened the father. So it still had a hope drop by means of my beautiful wife to return me to Hasidic Judaism. But if I leave, then everything was gone.
But as always in such cases between the father and the son, he achieved nothing and only spoiled to me a lot of blood and lives. Instead of being softened, I only became hardened.
My clever father did not understand that as well as he will not give the Hasidic Judaism for any benefits of the world, also and I will not give for anything the misnagstvo. To lie, deceive, pretend to be as others, I could not. It – not in my nature. So do others: go as other Hasidim, in long-skirted clothes, go to the Rebbe, carry shtreyml – all for the sake of the wife, the father, the father-in-law or for the sake of the administration - and in soul all on the contrary: smoke a cigarette in the Sabbath, break all bans if only nobody saw. But I so could not.
That day when I wanted to receive the passport, was one of the most bitter dny my life. The wife was ill several days. The father rasshibsya in flat cake that she recovered. She lay in a bed and only cried. Did not talk to me. It is natural that I wanted to please it in every possible way. Her illness absolutely shook me. But the father did not allow me to it. And so it turned out that all family turned around it, everyone tried to help something, and I did not!
Then, having recovered, she in relation to me was softened, it is visible, felt to me pity. Too to me from the father got. It is clear, that it afflicted that I was going to leave – so recently married, and I have no pleasure in life.
We reconciled … I explained to her that the father has no right so me to pursue. He cannot force to be me a Hasid if my heart to it does not lie. Therefore it should not have to me any claims, should not this way cruelly with me act.
"It offends me at your presence, he waits that I will lose courage, I will feel humiliated, - I explained to her, - no, my dear wife, I can make everything, but believe in what it is not trusted in - I cannot".
"As for my desire to go to Volozhin, - I continued, - and to leave you, you know that my soul is connected with your soul, heart with heart. And for this reason I want to leave. I want that to you it was good that you, God forbid, did not know any need. We have no big money, any new business is not expected too. And with such small capital what we have we will receive nothing therefore it is necessary to achieve some income. I cannot undertake any small thing for the sake of earnings as other kamenetsky inhabitants. But on one I hope – to become a rabbi. Also ask please, my wife, our uncle, the rabbi, he will tell you that for me there is the only correct way – to become the rabbi. I have to thank the father for it – that he did not send me to Volozhin three years ago. I would become a rabbi already soon. But I still did not lose hope; to me now eighteen years. We still have contents for the whole three years, and nothing will become if we for a while leave. To you the father will have in anything no need, all love you. It does not matter - years through four, at most through five I, with the God's help will surely acquire the right for a position of the rabbi, and you will become dear ravvinshy".
Well, my spouse who generally was a good and practical wife and most of all wanted the reliable income, quite agreed with me, having told that she does not doubt my fidelity and devotion at all.
And the father as it often happens as soon as understood that we completely reconciled with the wife, ceased to carp at me.
The intention – to teach Gemara and galakhichesky decisions, I will not acquire the right for a position of the rabbi yet – I did not leave. Began to study in new bet-ha-midrashe with big diligence and behaved so: after an evening prayer, that is, in the beginning evenings, was engaged till eight o'clock, then went to bed near the furnace, with an old talliet under the head, in advance having asked youth before leaving home at ten, eleven hours me to wake. And after leaving of everything, having remained one, undertook study. Stood at an eminence and studied till the dawn. Having raised the head from Gemara, heard that the reader already reads blessings from prayers and that day began. So I studied all winter.
I slept in bet-ha-midrashe hour on three, no more, and all the time studied. Only on Friday night slept at home as it is necessary to the expert on the Writing.
However, it was terrible to me to be to one in such big bet-ha-midrashe. I then believed in devils and evil forces, besides at that time we in the city had a mad Jew by the name of Rashele. Her madness was shown that she walked at the whole nights the streets and as soon as saw that somewhere the man opened a door and went outside, so right there got through a door to that into a bed. Naturally, scandal rose while it was not banished. Her madness consisted in it. And I was afraid, as if Rashele did not become constant visitor at me in bet-ha-midrash. I very much was afraid of devils, switched on light in all lamps hanging in bet-ha-midrashe. Was there, it is remembered, eight big trailing lamps on eight, ten and twelve candles in high candlesticks, for Saturday and holidays. I burned two pounds of candles in a night, and nobody dared to tell me words. All owners from bet-ha-midrasha, as well as Jews in general, were very happy that I study alone. All night long with Gemara – whether a joke!
In such way I every day became more and more pious. And in a short space of time became such believer that all week did not eat some meat at all – at all anything, except black bread with soup, without oil, and at the same time began to read all books of supporters of the movement musar1 to me very much the book "Esod Ve Shoresh Ha — Israeli Labor Party" 2 was pleasant, and behind a prayer I behaved as in it it is recommended: in some places of a prayer cried, and in some – rejoiced. And acted this way as told Rabi: "Do not hold a hand below a belt". I remember how going home and back, I looked at people on the street with some pity. What do they know? What do they learn? And having looked at the sky where burned asterisks very much, felt fear of great God, and tear down known as Panchoshnik spoke every day same:
"Collect, children, coins …"
It is clear, what having found on the street of a coin, the person will not begin to be distracted by talk, to stop in the middle of business. It will collect coins.
"Collect, children, coins."
The charitable affairs made by the person he there, in the world other, builds to himself the palace, for a second without daring to cease because that second when he does not study, he can die, Perish The Thought, and the palace in the world other will not have terrace, eaves or a window. Therefore the person to the last gasp, to the last sweat has to build and build continuously.
I followed it and built the palace, without affording will mention with someone the word, I collected coins, arrived as it is told in the book "Basis and Root of Service", and still it was not enough. And I everything continued to try to become still blagochestivy. But my occupations did not touch the father at all, and he repeated:
"It is better for me to die, better Hatskel would die, than to live up to it. Both its doctrine, and piety for me – cost nothing if he does not listen to the Rebbe"
Owners began to reproach the sons and sons-in-law why they do not study as Hatskel with the city. And those envied Aron-Leyzerov Moyshe for the fact that his so diligent son in the doctrine, such righteous person. Young people vozrevnovat and gradually, is closer to the Hanukkah, to every time more and more youth bet-ha-midrash came and while all bet-ha-midrash was not filled with the young people and eshibotnik studying at the whole nights as I. Got over from big bet-ha-midrasha here, in new, and I already was not one, and candles did not burn in trailing lamps, only in the bronze candlesticks standing on tables near Gemar any more.
And we read with such heart-felt tune that having remembered it now, I feel in all a body sweet. So with me all city eshibotnik and master's children studied that winter and long then people spoke:
"Hatskel's generation!"
And it is valid, such generation in Kamentsa was not yet. Here I absolutely became the person of spirit: In Purim, I remember, got drunk as polozheno3 and in a state of intoxication shouted that I have the passport to the world other. I studied three bava: Bava-Kama, Bava-Metion and Bava-Batra4.
But in a sober state asked God to send me livelihood that I could always sit and be engaged so.

Chapter 26
Shop. – My trip to Kobrin. – Yoshe's house. – Sons-in-law: the educated Leyzer and ilyuy Zalman-Sender. – Two houses. – My first profound acquaintance to the Tanakh. – Impression of the Tanakh. – The change which happened in me. – Trip home. – My high thoughts. – A failure with shop. – Educational books. – Again father.
In a family at us already came to a conclusion that my commitment to the doctrine does not allow me to provide livelihood to the wife and children. And as my wife – the beautiful hostess, it was decided to make her the dealer. Let's prevail a dowry and we will acquire shop, and I a free minute will help it.
To my misfortune it turned out that somebody is ready to sell shop of haberdashery and perfumery. He left Kaments, and to us there will be an income. It is necessary to be enough rather that did not intercept others. Brought the dealer to the father and agreed that during easter week he will give shop. Of an earnest the father gave fifty rubles, we will deliver the rest in easter week.
Meanwhile me tore off from Gemara and sent to Kobrin to reb to Yoshe, Minka's son, the son-in-law of my uncle, to take our dowry stored at him. I did not want to leave my occupations and prayers, but it was necessary: my wife very much wanted to become if not ravvinshy then the dealer.
I went to Kobrin.
The house reb was known to Yoshe in all Grodno province as the place where the Torah and greatness connected. Esther-Gitel, the daughter of the kamenetsky rabbi, was a wise and practical woman. They had an inn and shanks, as at us in Kamentsa at Hayche Trinkovskoy. But the difference was that Kobrin – the big district city, and Kamenets – the small town.
Landowners from all county were in its lordly inn and in shank. It had a rich furniture and beautiful, was available as well a dancing hall for landowners with pianos which then, before the Polish revolt, were actually thrown by money.
There were they also big philanthropists, and to them poor people for whom baked up to ten poods of bread came to Kobrin from all province.
There is nothing to tell with what they were hospitable! In a word – nobody was released empty-handed. Other such shcheedry and hospitable house was not in all Lithuania.
At Esther-Gitel was no more and not less as twenty two children from whom thirteen died. From nine remained was three sons and six daughters. Took daughters the greatest ilyuev.
One of sons-in-law, Leyzer famous ilyuy, after a wedding did not want to study and as then spoke, "was caught red-handed": was considered apikoyresy, maskily, privlyoky to itself and tearing off from the doctrine, Kobrin youth. The spirit of Education reigned in his house, laughed at the Rebbe and at Hasidim, at fanatics, etc. as it was accepted at of that time maskily.
This Leyzer, except that there was a scientific person and maskil, knew also well Russian, had big library of scientific books in Hebrew and in Russian, and it had language – a thunder and a lightning. The further, the it attracted to itself(himself) youth more and more.
At reb Yoshe was one more son-in-law, my relative, the grandson reb Haim Volozhinera. Rab Yoshe just took and went to Volozhin and chose the best of eshibotnik. Well understanding in the doctrine, he examined applicants. But he could not examine this applicant: the guy knew more reb Yoshe. Today this guy already real Jew, reb Zalman-Sender, the rabbi in the city of Krinki1, is very famous and it is even considered the predictor.
Reb Yoshe brought ilyuya to himself, dressed him in all new and put three thousand rubles of a dowry and five years of contents. The wedding was in at one time with mine. The son-in-law Zalman-Sender corresponded concerning the Torah with the most great rabbis of Russia, and his house where there were young experts on Uchenya, became the complete antithesis of the house of his brother-in-law.
Two houses of children reb Yoshe were such. These houses differed as fire and water. Maskili laughed at religious fanatics, and at devout slung mud at Leyzer from his maskilyama. But Leyzer was very much we love in the city and is connected with the district police officer, the world intermediary and with all administration. Even landowners appreciated it.
The house reb Yoshe and his two sons-in-law represented the spiritual downtown. In each of them life was in full swing. In Yoshe's house it was cheerful. Daughters were big aristocrats in spite of the fact that Yoshe did not differ in big wealth. Beautifully put on, kept it is proud.
I arrived to Kobrin after Purim. But reb Yoshe at whom my dowry was stored had no, the poor creature, at that moment of money. But as I nevertheless was the relative and the erudite, besides - the young man, about my dowry were silent more, and instead overfed me tasty broadcast and rejoiced to a meeting with me.
Fun reigned in the house at them, and has to admit that backdating I really was glad that they for me did not have money.
I was told:
"Have a good time … At us it is cheerful".
And I had a good time.
I as though forgot the Gemara and "A basis and a root of service", ceased to collect coins and to build the palace in future world that, God forbid, there would be no it without eaves …
By the nature hot and interfering with everything, I was given to the fun reigning in all three houses. Tinkered at Esther-Gitl with children a little that was wonderful, resembled to reb to Zalman-Sender with his scientific young people who all were misnagda, and derived some pleasure from visit reb Leyzer, the senior son-in-law, from his maskilyama – hot Jews and not so religious, very appreciating the Tanakh, but in which the main thing for them was – the person, human relations, friendship of people, general happiness and the world terrestrial.
I never learned the Tanakh. In those days, as I already noted, studying of the Tanakh was considered as heresy, especially as Hasidim, and in one thousand times more – my father shipped in Hasidic Judaism with the head. Only at Mote-melamed I taught "Yahshuah", "Judges" and "Shmuyel", 1-2 – and all. I was afraid to learn the Tanakh in bet-ha-midrashe because of the father, and almost did not understand value of "Prophets", poetry of their words, and here for the first time heard fine and deep words which absolutely fascinated me. The prophet Ishayagu speaks words of God: "When you come to be coming Me who asks you to trample down my yards?. Your (victims) at the beginning of new month and your festivals became hated to my soul; …. and how many you prayed, I do not hear; your hands were full of blood. Be washed, cleared … You learn to create good, demand a fair trial i.t.p." 2 I still: "Whether such is a post which was chosen by me, - day (when) the person the soul torments? On whether (it) to decline how the head and vretishche and ashes to spread reed? Whether it you will call a post and in the afternoon, pleasing to the Lord? Whether it is a post is which I chose: resolve fetters of rage, untie yoke bonds, and oppressed release on freedom, and break any yoke!; Whether in that (it) that you with hungry divided your bread, and entered the poor people wandering into the house? When you see nude, dress him, and do not disappear from your relative. Then will break as a dawn, your light … Then you will appeal - and the Lord will answer; you will begin to yell, - and He will tell: here I!" 3.
So learned Leyzer's maskil with youth from among Hasidim who secretly were caught in their net. I listened and at the same time reflected: "Why in Zalman-Sender's house so mock over maskilyam, call them apikoyresa and their name will be erased. On the contrary – here it is so beautiful, cleverly and well speak! And I did not know at all that the Prophet said a name of the Lord that he, the Lord, refuses the Jewish prayers and of their Saturdays, their shouts, raising of hands and posts. Only one is demanded by the Lord: to help each other, to break chains which the rich impose on the poor - it terribly excited me. At this moment all righteousness "Bases and a root of service" seemed to me quite flat - flat and empty …
And leyzerovsky maskil became expensive to me. Here I thought of as far as I was deceived. I only studied, prayed, cried, fasted and tormented myself. I considered that such is will of God. But now it became clear that not it is demanded from people by God. He only demands that people each other helped. Would do good each other, would facilitate life. I never noticed poverty which crowded and teemed in Kamentsa. It concerned nobody, everyone tried only for himself, everyone is ready to swallow another. If someone has an income, another envies it and if someone starves to death, it will touch nobody. Well, in me there was a full revolution, and I decided that having come back home, I right there will be engaged in the poor, I will help oppressed. Nothing – I have enough energy, and all youth will support me.
Money, at last, after all gave me, and I returned from Kobrin absolutely changed. I never faced such interesting society as there – both the Torah, and goodheartedness and original devotion together with education, and – in my opinion, everything was combined with each other. For me my stay in Kobrin was precious.
Having returned to Kamenets with a dowry, I decided to give first of all desyatinu4. But the father wanted that from tithe I gave a half to the slonimsky Rebbe. I about it did not wish and to listen. It tore off ten rubles from me for the Rebbe, and I divided the rest, and efficiently: found for persons in need from decent people and secretly between them distributed money. Then paid the owner of shop, and my practical wife received shop in the arrangement.
For me a new era began. I prayed every day, after a prayer taught hour Gemara, and between after-dinner and evening prayers – again hour. The rest of the time – sat with the wife in shop. We helped out a little as except peasants, there were no buyers. It was just after revolt. From landowners there is no trace left. If the landowner with couple of horses was rarely, then the carriage was a zamyzgana, horses dirty, dirty, and he made the way on the city as a shadow. And luxury goods which I had in shop it was possible to throw out quietly.
I ceased to collect coins and to build the palace, but also of what I undertook, having returned from Kobrin - that I will act according to the program of the prophet Ishayagu, too nothing left. It is clear, that I drove myself crazy at once shop where the old, unnecessary goods, some strange remains on which there were no buyers lay. We by inexperience paid many hundreds for all these rags, and one God knows when they manage to be sold. For this purpose the new, fresh goods, absolutely other sort – simple, for peasants, a thing were required, and my goods – to send to some museum of antiquity. There were many experiences, and meanwhile the grandfather with the father remained with very small income too.
The wife already became me poyedy is why I such shlimazl, am no good to any trade and for what it, unfortunate, to be a dealer in Kamentsa rather for whom? There are no landowners, and with peasants it has no desire to do business. For them it is necessary to be simple, to be able to talk to them, and it – something absolutely drugoye5.
Well, me it was already strongly nasty. Though I also have a contents, but also at the father of business unimportant. We were ready to refuse contents, but with our money, enclosed in shop, it was possible to say goodbye. But when it became even worse, it was necessary threw dreams of becoming the rabbi or to help poor people. Was decided to become state ravvinom6. First of all I, without the knowledge of the father, began to learn the Tanakh. Ten times passed it thus: having read from chapter 1 approximately to the tenth, returned to the first; with the tenth to the twentieth - and again to the tenth, etc. And so there passed all Tanakh. And right there passed to educational literature. The rich man's son Yosl had such books much. And we with might and main began to read. Began to order books from Bialystok on reading for a payment.
There was at that time big maskil, a son-in-law reb Itsele Zabludowsky, Eliezer Halbershtam. He highly appreciated the educational movement, Bialystok was known as the largest city of Education. The former young fanatics threw the doctrine and began to be educated with assistance of Halbershtam. It was the well-known time of stains of husbands with wives because of Education. "The father-in-law agreed to divorce the son-in-law" from the daughter who did not have the opinion on this matter. The father declared: your husband – apikoyres, it is necessary to divorce him.
In that time we received by mail all books on Education, paying decent money for reading. Let's read the book – we order another. Sent us the catalog of all new educational books. I wanted to study Russian, but in Kamentsa there was no teacher, and the father of it, of course, would not allow me.
By then I could already write in sacred language and became "famous" for the language. It terribly afflicted the father. But he saw that he can do nothing and that hopes which he laid on the daughter-in-law - that she will make the Hasid of me – are absolutely vain. On the contrary – my wife grew cold to Hasidic Judaism. Her thoughts rotating only around earnings and how to live to it were prompted that wives of Hasidim all turned black from cares. Husbands spent the whole days and nights in the Hasidic shtibl, in dances and in singing, in food and to drink, and wives starved to death. She saw how Hasidim boozed at my father on an outcome every Saturday, and their wives with children in melancholy and nearly in hunger sat on houses.
She also saw that I seek to earn money, to arrange the correct life and that I would have no such desire, remain I the Hasid. And now she accused my father that he did not take care for me of something real that I could provide the wife.
At that time among Jews the aspiration to education was very developed and many sent children to a gymnasium, it was already possible to meet the Jewish doctors, engineers, lawyers. And I very much complained that the father made me unfortunate, and any not the rabbi and not the doctor. But here, at the height of all cares, the new trouble came, it is even more former so forgot about earnings. I mean the big epidemic of cholera of 1866 which ruined for several months
three million people.

Chapter 22:
[1] That is will offer money for poor people of the Country of Israel. R. Meir Baal-ha-Nes (Wonder-worker) with whose name this custom is connected and which tomb is on the bank of Tiberias Lake – the unidentified person.
[2] About a half of hectare.
[3] Exaggeration from the author. The number of Jews in Moscow did not exceed during this period eight thousand.
[4] Apparently, the author means the atmosphere in Kiev during process of Baileys in 1911-1913.
[5] Here too exaggeration from the author. The Jewish population of Kiev reached such quantity only by 10th years of the 20th century.
Chapter 23:
1 The twelfth month of the Jewish calendar, corresponds to August-September.


Chapter 24:
1 "Radosttora", the last autumn holiday marking end of a year cycle of reading the Torah in synagogues and the beginning of reading a new cycle. Sukot, and in the countries of dispersion – is noted one day in Erets Israel in the last day later.
2 In the original, alternating the bible quote with the deformed translation into Yiddish - the offensive word-play based on similarity in a pronunciation into Yiddish of the i union - "ун" and words of "juntas" – "dog".
3 M. Mendelssohn, 1729-1786, river in Dessau, the Jewish-German philosopher, one of spiritual leaders of the movement Haskala. On its translation of the Pentateuch into German the Jewish letters Jews of Eastern Europe learned German.
5 I.e. ravvinshy. The cat was come from the outside mothers by the great-grandson reb to Gilel Fried married to Haim Volozhiner's daughter, the head of the well-known Volozhinsky eshiva. In the described time Haim Gilel Fried, Gilel Fried's grandson was the deputy her head.

Chapter 25:
1 The moralistic movement in the environment of misnagd, hl. in the way, pupils eshiv, the education of the personality putting on the first place. Arose in the middle of 19 century in the environment of the East European, in particular Lithuanian, Jewry, in opposition, on the one hand, to Hasidic Judaism, and with another – to Education.
2 "A basis and a root of service", see above.
3 In Purim, in honor of miraculous escape from the disaster threatening to the people, the devout Jew has to get drunk so, "not to distinguish Gaman from Mordechai".
4 The name of three parts of the talmudical treatise devoted to a question of losses.

Chapter 26:
1 At that time – Grodno lips.
2 Ishayagu, 1,12-17, in fragments.
3 In the same place, 58, 5-7,8-9, in fragments.
4 The tenth part from the income which the Talmud ordered to donate for religious and charitable needs.
5 In the original: "and it – something absolutely "I will give you" - possibly, this Russian expression had during this period still some, nowadays lost sense.
6 The elective office in the Jewish communities in 1857-1917 approved by the provincial authorities. Officially represented a community in government agencies.



My memoirs. Volume I



My memoirs. Volume II





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