My memoirs. Volume first. Chapter 27-29.

Kobrin → Outstanding persons

Chapter 27
Cholera. – Cholera medicines of that time. – Death of the rabbi. – Hearing that he revived. – I look for the person interested to buy shop. – Vakhnovich. – I want to become the state rabbi. – Slap in the face.
Cholera from Brest, precisely living being, arrived directly to Kamenets. Epidemic extended scary quickly. In Brisk more than two thousand people died since a month elyul to a kislev [1], and in Kamentsa was not less awful. From the first the granddaughter of the rabbi, the daughter reb Simkhi died, the young married woman, and after it began to die in little Kamentsa on two-three persons a day, and once reached eight in day. Rising in the morning, at once heard about new dead men.
Nothing surprising that so many people died. About disinfection then had no concept, died of epidemic washed houses, but not on a cemetery as it is accepted, warm water which flew everywhere. It is more surprising that all did not die. But also so the set lay down.
At the father the fourteen-year-old sister and the two-year-old daughter died. Jews even began to apply such reliable tools as the wedding device on the little fool cripple's cemetery with the blind guy. Put on a cemetery a hupa with hope for emergence of healthy posterity. I remember also as on Friday went through all city with the Torah in hands certain – be remembered not by a row – a procession, saying: "mix of aromas …" [2]. But no means helped.
Then did not know the last resorts applied fifteen years ago in Poland during cholera in Lublin yet. Then all produced ringlets from a lulav [3], harnessed four girls and plowed up a piece of the earth from that side of the city from where cholera came. Also brought on the cemetery Goya, paid it three rubles a day for that it stood there at gate and when brought the dead man, would speak:
"Tu niema miejsca" [4]. Gy at the same time, having the goysky head, said when brought the dead man, something opposite:
"Tu jest dosyc miejsca[5], carry all Jews here."
But at us in Kamentsa as it is told, nothing was heard then about an earth plowing on the one hand by means of girls, about Lublin ringlets, and the asessor with the district police officer was also known what to undertake as we knew what occurs on the moon. I cannot keep not to tell about a real miracle: in Zastavye any did not die the person as though blocked a way to the death angel that it could not appear there. There was some strange, unclear thing. On the other hand, in High cholera was big, in Kamentsa – it is not less, and inhabitants of Zastavya were in Kamentsa for days on end, leaving home only for the night – and all escaped.
In the first day of Sukot within an hour my uncle rabbi died of cholera. Naturally, all city came, tears flowed like water. In the house of the uncle it was full to the people, and I remember that his finger slightly moved and all cried that the righteous person is still living. The window was open, and in the city the rumor was right there spread that the righteous person recovered. But hour through two there was funeral.
When I came back home, the grandmother Bale Russia asked me the gentle voice:
"Hatskel, you were near the uncle. Whether the truth that speak - as if the rabbi suddenly sat down and told: "Do not cry, children, the earth will be closed behind me"?"
I told it how everything was. But nothing helped: the hearing proceeded. At night, however, fifteen people died at once, and strengthening of epidemic began with it. And fairy tales about the rabbi calmed down at once. Epidemic proceeded almost to the Hanukkah. All were on the threshold of death. Just – the person standing, and already – in the best world.
All this time nobody had any income, distributed alms to persons in need, and many sold from themselves the last shirt for bread.
In the city there was a room with jugs of hot water, there was the whole society of the "rastiratel" working day and night, pounding and warming patients. But members of society all died, together with Yosl, their true commander and the big hero.
After cholera the city almost became empty.
But trouble – trouble, and earnings are all the same necessary, and again began to look for how to earn, and to the father, the poor creature, it was necessary to abandon the Hasidim together with Hasidic shtibly and to go to the estate Vakhnovich located in three versts from Kaments which the grandfather rented at the count from Turna. And I remained in Kamentsa with the shop. But we understood that we will sit so, we will not eat the last money yet. We had no goods for peasants, to drag them for a sleeve as it was necessary to do, we were not able. Also waited that peasants will come, as a result – a total failure.
Despite modesty of our expenses as all food to us were sent by the father from the estate, and us was only two and servants, nevertheless a lot of money left. I was never able to save. Such I had "a family shortcoming", and it was clear that further we so cannot live.
God does not throw to people purses with money from the sky, bread also does not grow for people on trees. Before bread will get to the person into a mouth, it is necessary to work well – to plow and fertilize, sow, mow, to dry, thresh and again to dry, grind, sift, knead, the furnace – and only then we receive finished bread. Apparently, the person has to work well until receives a piece of bread. And sitting in shop, looking at each other and not wishing to delay peasants peasants for a sleeve, we, of course, will not earn, and we will waste a payment for shop and for the apartment.
Despite it, we held shop. We made one "reform": took the girl that pulled peasants in shop. But it not really helped. By this time my wife gave birth to the first child. And the trimming arranged on the highest sample with wine and almsgiving, became a coffin to our shop. The shop already was a total failure. We relied on the girl who had, apparently, too long hands – yes she will forgive me – and, between you and me, it turned out nasty. My wife had a child now, and she could not work already so in shop. And I understood that business it does not suit me that I cannot will get used to peasants and peasants that it is opposite to me to bargain with buyers, and decided that we have to sell shop and move to the father to the estate. My intention was – to study as the state rabbi what yet to speak to nobody about, including the wife.
I looked for the person interested to buy shop and did not find. After big tortures somehow transferred to the relative the remained goods for a third of the price which it to me, besides paid by installments, and there went to the father to the estate Vakhnovich.
The father, being an ardent Hasid, in the village terribly missed. On Friday night and all Saturday he with himself had fun. But what fun is: he sang, and children danced. The pleasure turned out artificial, and his smile was gone. Also it was visible that without the Hasidim, in this monotonous rural life, it thaws as a candle. I got into the head that I have to prepare for examination on the state rabbi. Went to Brisk, got acquainted with the clerk famous maskily there, appreciating all young people who are carried away by the educational movement and to it it was pleasant. But it was necessary to know Russian. He explained to me what books I have to study and even gave some of them to me. I also bought the Russian dictionary. Having come back home, began to prepare seriously. I knew that the father will be against I learned Russian, especially, against I became the state rabbi, but did not imagine to what degree it will be against. Having noticed that I learn Russian, he gave me couple of slaps in the face and told:
"We live and, thank God, we do not know any Russian. And it is necessary to you. I it will not allow you at all!".

Chapter 28
Sudden death of my grandmother. – Impression which was made by death on a family and on the town. – Its funeral. – Sobbings of the grandfather. – Shiva. – High opinion on the grandmother. – Its good deeds. – Disintegration of our family after her death.
Even before departure to Vakhnovich we endured a great grief. Somehow at night to us knocked in a shutter:
"Moyshe, Moyshe, get up, mother comes to an end!
Crying rose, and all of us, fatally scared, began to put on quickly: but hands shivered as paralyzed. The father, mother, I both my wife and all brothers and a syostra – having somehow slipped on clothes, we cry at the top of the voice. Only the father does not cry: it is pale, eyes shine moisture. We rush to our dear grandmother. From big haste we fall on the ladder conducting on a balcony, we rise and we run in the house. But we already found the grandmother dead. It had a sudden bleeding: all blood rushed suddenly from a throat, and through a quarter of hour it was already dead. In the house we found all children and grandsons, small and big, brothers of the grandfather and the sister's family. All were assembled, both shout and crying captured almost all city. Foreign women ran together, crying amplified as though the bitter enemy made slaughter in the city.
Only the grandfather will faint as even more shouts and crying rise, all run together to him to the aid. Yashku-doktora with other two doctors do not let out from the house – that took care of the grandfather when he recovers. The grandmother lies on a floor, and the grandfather falls on a floor too. It is extended near the grandmother, leans the head against her head and fills in it with the rivers of tears. It was always inclined to tears, but the whole stream which flew and flew endlessly broke now. And its sobbing shook all family even more. Crying and shouts amplified every minute, and already all city did not fall down now, all sighed for the righteous woman and the clear head who did not have in life of any enemy.
From the dawn all city near the house and already gathered in the house, on a terrace and at all windows. And crying opened wide heaven.
The father sent the courier in Chekhchov to the sister and to the son-in-law Burl-Bendeta at once. Hour through three already there arrived Burl Bendet with Dvoyra and with all their children and grandsons, added fresh tone to crying.
Also was, of course, about what to complain: this thin, little Jew firmly held together all our family, it is its kind spirit inspired in each of us the world, she us learned it that it is necessary to love each other, she cared that our big family kept beautifully, purely and well. It she considered that it is not necessary to show anger that it is necessary to try to accept everything with love that it is necessary to hope - to lose hopes never! And here she lies is the beloved, my dear grandmother covered black and will not get up from the earth any more.
There came day, but we at all had a dark night, and any human forces to take out an awful scene – as the grandmother on the earth, and near it – the grandfather lies, having put the head on her head and sheds tears as she from a stream, and sobs as the small child, and all with it cry at the same time.
From time to time the grandfather calms down, and all run to look and see that he in a faint. Big crying rises, then doctors, with a bottle of cold water run. It is recovered, he recovers and again falls to the ground at the grandmother's head, again and again sheds tears as he from a stream, and again sobs, will not break off yet.
Then women came from funeral campaign to make washing. It was necessary to free the room, all began to disperse, but it was impossible to tear off the grandfather from the dead grandmother as though his head is chained to her head. It did not allow to take away itself(himself) and so lay long enough. He all turned pale and turned pale and it was clear that he can die here. Then were the only son to Arya-Labe and Burl-Bendet – two healthy young men – and by force tore off him from her head. But to it it became bad. And shout was such, as on the fire when people were captured by fire. On shout all Jews ran together outside, with great difficulty carried the grandfather to other room and put to bed. But he rushed on the earth and wanted to lie only on the earth, shouting:
"I want to the earth, together with mine Bale Russia".
After it was prepared in due form, the new awful scene – farewell to all family began. All on it snatched, asking, on custom, forgiveness that there was it the kind defender in the next world what was on it. And again the grandfather laid down on the crude earth through impregnated with cleaning water, having put the head near her head. It was some horror.
All city came to a funeral. All shops, all shanks were closed, in houses there is no woman left, even in Zastavye. Before it the grandmother was brought, and after that all sons, sons-in-law, sisters and brothers dragged to her under hands of the half-conscious grandfather, and doctors went near bottles in hands.
For the life in Kamentsa I saw a big funeral twice. One – my uncle, the kamenetsky rabbi, occurring during Sukot, and it is clear that there was all city. The second – were the grandmother's funeral, even more populous because all women the rabbi did not have that because of custom of that time according to which foreign women do not come to a funeral of men came to a funeral.
When lowering in a grave there was something awful. The grandfather as if started in mind, tried to rush to a grave and did not allow to lay the Bale Russia to the earth. With great difficulty it was succeeded to tear off it from it, but after it was lowered in a grave, it again to it rushed and by a terrible voice cried:
"I want to be in the earth together with Bale Russia! …"
Also fainted. It helped, and it was torn off from a grave.
Back from the grandfather's funeral dragged to the house again and there put to bed. But he rushed on the earth again and did not give itself to take for anything in a bed. And so he in a subconscious state fell asleep. Doctors told that he should allow to sleep off, strangers left the room, having left near him sons, daughters, daughters-in-law and sons-in-law. Now people cried quietly, and so crying, weakened. Then settled on the earth, and tears all were shed and flew.
The grandfather every time woke up and shouted that it was dug together with Bale Russia. Apparently, it began heat, and during a heat he often screamed:
"Robbers! What you Bale Russia without me buried!"
All these gloomy days none of a family anything took in a mouth, even a glass to tea. Even small, six-year-old children, ate nothing too and did not drink.
The second night was same awful, as well as the first. More than seventy souls lay on a floor and all cried. Tears were shed on a floor and boards became damp.
At night the grandfather has a little a sleep, and at dawn jumped. Felt better it a little.
"But, Bale Russia, - he begins to shout, - take me to yourself, you were such faithful wife, soul and a body! Show me the last fidelity now and ask God that he took me there where you are!"
And again he cries, again sobs and again shivers, and behind him – big and small, and tears mix up, as to Yom Kippur during blessings.
All these two days the grandfather did not pray. Children at whom was big minyan, prayed in the morning and in the afternoon and in the evening. Praying, too cried. The father prayed at "column". He which could be firm and did not cry, pronounced words quietly and sincerely that touched even more, than tears. Prayed in the top shtibl, in the grandmother's bedroom, and for the third day already prayed below, in the big room as the grandfather could not take out that prayed in a bedroom. Now he began to pray at "column", but he all cried as he the child and fainted, and it was necessary to take away it from "column".
It was also necessary to look for means from crying, otherwise it was possible to die of a grief and fear simply. Representatives of a city top came to visit sitting in mourning and ordered to deliver to servants a big samovar, and began to give all tea with rolls. Hardly tea managed to force people to drink. And the grandfather refused also tea.
"I want to die, - he went on, - I want to be together with Bale Russia".
For the third night he has even a little a sleep, but it was the unhealthy dream, and Yashku-doktora did not release. Family members, having been unable to fall asleep, took seat on the earth and began to share in turn stories about the grandmother Bale Russia, about her rare advantages, about her big heart, about her warmth and dedication in relation to personal and others'. Told how it reconciled all.
Whether there was a wedding of the daughter, son or grandson, she at once after seven days of a feast invited a couple to herself, but only each of them – separately. To the daughter, the young wife, she long said that the husband is the head of the house, he has to earn a living, raise children, and that all dignity of the wife – in her husband.
"You have to, - she addressed the daughter or the granddaughter, - not only to love the husband, but also to show him the love. It is natural that you give the one whom you love only pleasures, and God forbid, you do not afflict. But he has to see and feel that he is dear to you as an apple of the eye. And if he, God forbid, treats you badly and does not show fidelity, you should not look at it, should not reckon with it. It, eventually, with you will be good whatever it bad was. You also should not the husband contradict - as it is told in "Lectures of fathers" about to contradicting the neighbor, in particular the husband, and that that refused to contradict tebe1. If you want that your husband was entirely devoted to you, you have to be before entirely devoted to him and that he will tell – has to be sacred for you … If he says that now night, and you see that put, tell too that now night … Thanks to your kindness he eventually will understand the mistake and will fall in love with you as life. With the husband it is necessary to speak softly, not to show the mind, not to boast of it, and he will always say what you clever, and you will be clever. If you tell it how to do right thing in some business, and he will not listen and will arrive just the opposite and silly, and then admits to you that he was wrong – you should not show that it is pleasant to you and should not, My God keep, to annoy it and poyedy is, on the contrary – to strengthen it, to console, encourage – he will understand that when do not obey, then then you regret. You have to see the husband in the best light, admire it, strengthen it. To run the business, it needs courage. And if, God forbid, business goes badly and he, God forbid, is not able to earn – you should not tell it, God forbid, the thin word. On the contrary – to console and strengthen, in your eyes it should not fall. Because if you, God forbid, tell it thin words or you will torment him - he will lose courage that will bring to bad life.
So she spoke with each young woman - the daughter, the daughter-in-law or the granddaughter. At the same time asked to tell always it how the husband treats it and if went not so well, tried to soften everything and to smooth.
With men after a wedding she said in a different way – that they have to value the wife, "as an apple of the eye" - always to remember that during pregnancy and childbirth it, the poor creature, suffers from such anguish what men cannot imagine.
"You arrange trimming, become the father – without expectations, without tortures, but what it costs to the wife? And then, when she feeds the child, how many nights do not sleep? All on it! You go on the street, to shop, talk to people, visit bet-ha-midrash, pray and engaged, speak and spend time, and the wife sits, attached, in the house, near the child. The child sucks its blood, a brain from bones and if, God forbid, the child gets sick how many to it it costs health? She does not eat, does not drink and does not sleep. Though even it costs you health, but how it can be compared to her sufferings? You got up and went. And if, with the God's help, there are several children? What then will be with the wife? It is not enough to love the wife, about her it is necessary to care, value her. Only, when you are devoted to the wife – life is sweet.
And together she said to both that in the house it has to be quiet that children never have to notice any war between the husband and the wife. My God keep! It corrupts character of children, and at the same time they will cease to obey seniors and to reckon with them.
It is clear, as it inspired in me the same. Only I wanted to poumnichat before it, and I told it that I found the book in which it is very well told about how there have to live the husband with the wife. This book - "Kiryat Sefer" of Mordechai-Aaron of Ginzburga2. In it letters which somebody writes the friend who became the groom are placed, advising him how to behave with the wife. I read letters to the grandmother, and they very much were pleasant to her. She to me advised to read it to my young wife, and I obeyed her.
Already everyone told how the grandmother installed the world between the husband and the wife and of what great importance her activity was, And in our family there was good life between husbands and wives. It was not heard, My God keep, the thin word of one to another.
The grandfather gradually began to recover. He was already able to drink a glass to tea, but with each drink complained again:
"Bale Russia lies in the earth, and I still can drink tea"
Those from the city who came earlier to console being in mourning, did not approach the grandfather at all. Now, when he somehow recovered, tried to address, influence to him him, explaining that he sins with the fact that he so rises against God. The person not in the right to dispose of the life. God gave, God took. The tsar David cried when his child, but then when the child died got sick, he was washed up and ordered it to play. The grandfather already cried less, and told everything about its advantages, about how she treated him what she was a gold wife that for heart had, etc.
For the sixth day the grandfather got up quieter. Prepared tea and all have a bite. He ate something too. In the city already knew that Aron-Leyzer calmed down a little that already so does not behave violently. It is already possible to come more freely to it to feel sympathy, it is already possible to talk, exchange with it the word though to tell it something that he about the Bale Russia did not know at all.
From eleven o'clock weight to the people began to come. In a day about hundred people, the man and the woman came, to feel sympathy.
One of those who came to feel sympathy, told how once they with the wife could not stop quarrel and as he came to complain to Bale Russia of the wife.
"It softened with the wisdom to me heart, and at the same time presented to me and shortcomings of my wife of easier light. At the same time it managed to represent so surprisingly well all sweet and pleasure from the kind relations between the husband and the wife and on the contrary – what real hell happens from the bad relations, those heart-breaking disasters which I tested in practice - that I felt requirement right there to reconcile with the wife whom in a minute before already decided to divorce. After my leaving she invited my wife at certain o'clock when Aron-Leyzera was not at home, and also wisely talked also to it, explaining, properly to it to behave from now on, and our life became better. Both of us understood that both of us are at war because of trifles. Once I am not right, at times – it. Why? For what? Since then, thank God, we very well live nine years. Came to thank her together. Give it God light paradise. She just rescued us the wisdom and clemency".
Such stories told much. Said that in its time in Kamentsa did not get divorced at all. She cared all the time for that before did not reach and sowed the world between all. Now, when stains became as mushrooms after a rain when mood such that everyone wants to throw a thing full of holes instead of to patch it as happened – now, I say, stories with the grandmother sound a little fondly. But it really had big talent to soften, correct and settle the bad relations. To it adult children came, complaining of stepmothers. In these cases she invited the stepmother and the wisdom and geniality inspired that that has to improve, should not restore so herself against orphans, and children came to thank then Bale Russia.
Similar affairs the house was full of it. Already the whole day - one enters, another leaves, but always when Aron-Leyzer was at landowners. She asked that when her husband of the house, it is so frequent to it not to come not to prevent it to have a rest from its affairs.
Told also about the help which it gave slowly that the husband did not know it about it. She did not want at all that knew about it. It supported the ruined owners who were left without bread. Gave them from vegetables which landowners sent it by full trucks: potato, cabbage, beet, carrots, onions, fruit, etc., and said to the grandfather that vegetables came to an end, and he already cared for that from the landowner sent again. Having received vegetables again, again sent to the respectable ruined owners. As well it regularly sent everything to almshouse including meat. At the grandfather every winter pinned up the whole bull, several sheep and calfs, meat was almost possible, and it right there distributed between a family, respectable poor Jews, almshouse, etc. And the grandfather was so busy that did not notice these heavy expenses.
She also fattened geese and heated goose fat, and endowing a family, still gave the most part to the poor. Cooked a lot of jam and different juice in the summer. Only on jam at it left the whole sixty pounds to sugar! And when someone in the city got sick, to it came for jam. It is necessary for that to accept with castor oil, to another – for strengthening of heart. And so she constantly cared for all. It had all city in the head with its ruined and needing inhabitants. Only money it gave a little alms as a lot of money was necessary on all family, and the husband gave it not so much as it was necessary for it. And when she sometimes asked it:
"Aron-Leyzer, I need twenty five rubles" - he quite could answer:
"At me is not present", - in a case when it yes could give it.
And she did not tell already excess word to it, doing a good mine as if nothing happened as if it to it has no claims. And money which after all was necessary borrowed the brother-in-law Mordkhe-Labe. Instead of money Aron-Leyzer sent it in shanks a vodka barrel for hundred rubles and when she in several days said to it that it needs vodka again, he right there ordered to deliver from the landowner. And it paid off with vodka the brother-in-law for the money taken from him on charity.
To the husband she never peppered – either the word, or business. He will tell "yes" – means yes, and if "no" - means is not present; but he always obeyed her, and having given her pain, apologized:
"To tell the truth, dear wife that when I do not obey you, always I have troubles".
And it right there smoothed everything - a word, a smile:
"Anything not to maleficiate, you have enough mind. To teach you, My God keep, it is not necessary, and such simple Jew as I, especially not to teach you. But even the cleverest person sometimes does nonsenses … People are not angels. Anything, anything …"
Here the grandfather had such wife, and not without reason he so moved heaven and earth when she died.
When rose after a shiva, all family had eyes which swelled up from tears and fatally pale, exhausted for hunger persons.
So once the Jewish woman there is from no who left unusual advantages in modern women any trace lived and arrived. Such was a little earlier, and now – no at all.
I already somewhere spoke about value of the grandmother for our family. Value it will become more clear to the reader if I tell that after her death our big family broke up. The consent was destroyed, people became colder, and from "an imperial regiment" there were one ruins. If "the imperial regiment" had a colonel without whom there would be, of course, no "imperial regiment", then it was the silent, imperceptible colonel – my grandmother who was selflessly preserving the soldiers. And the grandfather was only the courageous, kind and noisy captain!

Chapter 29
Hasidic Judaism and its opponents. – The attractive force of Hasidic Judaism which stirred up all Jewish world. – Orthodox Judaism as system. – "Shulkhan-arukh". – Shortcomings of Orthodox Judaism. - Hasidic Judaism. – Baal-Sh. – Availability of Hasidic Judaism to all layers of the people. – Reb Moshe-Haim of Luzzato. – "Way just". – Democratism in behavior of Hasidim. – Rebbe and Hasidic holidays. – Hasidic Judaism shortcomings. – General conclusion.
With death of my grandmother the first part of my memories actually comes to the end. However, I feel that something has to be told about Hasidic Judaism and its opponents. As the reader noticed, in my book I often concern fight between Hasidim and a misnagidama. This fight which I took out on the to a hump cost me a lot of health therefore willy-nilly I have to understand forever time – what the attractive force of Hasidic Judaism what excited all Jewish world what attracted huge number of Jews in the cities and places? In what after all its force? How the Hasidic Judaism managed even to take away children from orthodox rabbis and to make original defeat in families of misnagid? I will try to answer these questions, according to the lights. As the essence of movements of Hasidim and even misnagid is known not to all, we will try to develop and clear this subject somehow
Misnagida behaved according to rules of the book "Shulkhan Arukh" in which all rules of written and oral Tory1 were stated. All this there were practical establishments – that the person and what should not has to do; but "Shulkhan arukh" did not write what the person has to think and reflect on – as is told in Gemare, "The Lord demands heart". In "Shulkhan arukh" is not mentioned it. As well after "Shulkhan arukh" wise men wrote what the Jew has to do as he has to behave, and did it is even more difficult already difficult Jewish laws which could not be carried out.
Though the famous book "Duties of Hearts" made by the teacher our Bahya Sr. eight hundred years ago very clearly and clear explains need for the person to clear heart kind qualities, but in spite of the fact that this book is until now very accepted, is highly appreciated and Shulkhan arukh" is popular among Jews, however ", made is much later than "Duties of hearts", is appreciated, despite it, at Jews more highly. "Shulkhan arukh" became for them a Judaism essence, specifying how to carry out precepts. That is – how practically to arrive and to reflect. The precepts concerning soul, such human properties as pride, modesty, love, hatred, jealousy, anger, flattery, the world and dispute, etc. on the sense which is contained in the Torah and at Prophets began to be considered at Jews as something small, minor what it is possible to look with regret at, with chagrin, but not to focus attention on it. According to "Shulkhan arukh" and to other wise books, the Jew has to pray and study, fast and suffer and not have in life of any pleasures – as tell about Vilensky to the gayena, very being at war with Hasidim: wandering from place to place as a sign of grief about the dispersion which fell to lot of the people, he did not chew bread, and swallowed not to feel taste of food.
Devout misnagida prayed much and studied much, executed many instructions, suffered much and cried much. And after everything were in big fear of the angels torturers tormenting people in a next world with such terrible torments which can only be presented.
Devout misnagid it was always gloomy, gloomy and hammered: in this world he dared to rejoice, was afraid of future world, and "Shulkhan arukh" and to books of other wise men all the same could not please requirements. He always lagged behind in questions of belief and because of this lag lived in fear.
And what to tell about the misnagida which were not possessing such strongly devout nature? Those of course suffered from weakness of the Judaism and lived in dread and horror of the supreme court threatening with terrible punishment for the slightest offense.
So bore everyone misnagid burden of the belief, and even the pleasure spark in them was not visible. The suffering people mourning exile and troubles, and besides - whose future world, after death, promise still big torments against which torments of this world will seem a drop in the ocean.
On representations of misnagid, the Jew uneducated, not capable to study, of course cannot be the worthy Jew. The worthy Jew has to study and know all laws, he in general has to study and study. It is clear, that as uneducated is not appreciated by anybody, it is despised and if it besides the poor because of what it would be necessary to be indulgent to his ignorance - here he is considered as absolutely contemptible being. Such Jew himself feels the humility as he is just a person whereas others – angels.
At this lowest step constantly there were handicraftsmen. Handicraftsmen occurred from poor parents. Poor parents early gave children to work. Children therefore could not study, remained uneducated, and besides poor people! At misnagid the handicraftsman was considered as a contemptible being. It is clear, that from such attitude towards the simple Jew forced to interrupt the doctrine on poverty at misnagid the pride strongly developed.
And it is valid, the pride at misnagid is very developed. The joke to tell – respect! Uvazhenye tried to obtain all means. Everyone misnagid had the measure of an ikhus and the neighbor's ikhus. Ikhus was two childbirth: on wealth and on learning. There was it so: capable it is better to study or having one thousand rubles were considered more important than those who had hundred rubles, and having ten thousand rubles it was appreciated more, than having one thousand, etc.
It is clear, that the lowest and most pathetic step in which were in shulyakh and bet-ha-midrashakh poor people (eventually the shame of ignorance fell only on poor people, and ignorance of the rich man was forgotten because of his money). Hesitated to talk to them, places at doors were allocated to them, in their party did not look.
Misnagidam does not get also solidarity and peacefulness. Each of them – for himself, nobody wants to know that he does another. And as the pride is strongly developed, developed as well feeling of envy: cannot reconcile at misnagid neither with wealth of the neighbor, nor with his situation, nor with its origin. And it is eternal at them war and contentions and in city affairs, and in private life, and in bet-ha-midrashe.
Beth-ha-midrash at Jews – the only place where gather. Once people spent the most part of time in bet-ha-midrashe. Three times a day prayed, engaged both just talked, and bet-ha-midrash was at Jews only "club". But at misnagid the system is accepted that everyone has a certain place which he buys for money, and coming in bet-ha-midrash to pray, becomes on the place, so-called "штот". Everyone has in bet-ha-midrashe "штот", devolving to children. "Штот" – it is even more important, than situation and an origin. Misnagid is ready to subject himself to the greatest deprivations if only to take to bet-ha-midrashe place above, than at the acquaintance, or at least not below.
I remember that in my childhood in places east wall bet-ha-midrasha had the same place price high as the house price. These places spoiled a lot of blood of misnagid, and the one who will sometime write their history will receive such material which will remind him petty, ugly war rather, than something, concerning belief and a synagogue.
Poor people, as it was told, stand at the door. They have no place to sit down, as if they are some stones, but not people. And any misnagid probably will not wonder – though for a minute – whether it befits the God's house that people were divided on "pure" and "dirty", into the rich and the poor there.
Even by calls to the Torah the question of prestige plays a role. Owners are caused to read, but also in calls there are levels: to be caused by the third and sixth – most respectably; the seventh, the last and finishing – is slightly lower, and the fourth and fifth – is even lower. Standing at the Torah and distributing calls gabay weighs prestige of each owner and tensely wrinkles a forehead: whether this or that head from our sacred Torah where each word – treasure, for this or that owner – as all this is strange approaches! In most cases, of course, does not approach, and war and even a fight, and the atmosphere misnagidsky shulya begins it is sated with hatred and envy.
Invitations happens to only eight, but among several honeycombs praying in each shul is available on several tens rich men, large householders and "good" Jews wishing to be by all means invited to the Torah. Then at misnagid distribute verses from the Torah and read Saturday chapter not according to sections, and on lines.
Poor people almost are never invited to the Torah. As to Jews, besides devout, causes to them it is, of course, a lot of pain and chagrin. And from here the fact that most of poor people and handicraftsmen will organize the minyana where also they will receive the invitation to the Torah, of course, results and it is freely sighed, having got rid of the insults tested by them in the shul and bet-ha-midrashakh.
So, in bet-ha-midrashakh misnagid have no solidarity and any pleasure. Both during a week, and on Saturday and on a holiday. Everyone misnagid goes after a prayer home, will eat with the family and goes to bed. Does not sing, does not dance. Either prays, or studies, or something does, or eats, or sleeps. Something except a prayer, the doctrine, food and a dream, should not be. It is clear, that from all this misnagid falls into terrible dryness, into some desert where pleasure, ecstasy and elation are absolutely unknown.
In brief, shortcomings of misnagid following: isolation, lack of solidarity, fear of a next world in the absence of any pleasure in it, hatred and suspiciousness in relation to innocent uneducated people who fall only on the poor as to the rich ignoramus says goodbye. Hatred and suspiciousness to the poor in general, per se, pride, hostility, envy, contentions, pride of the origin and in general – dryness, life without pleasure, without happiness, without ecstasy – everything that is close to heart of democratic layers of the people. It is natural that at such situation Jews had to have a revolution, arise some new system which and arose.
There was it hundred seventy years ago together with Baal-Shemom2 who managed to become the father of revolution. About two points worked with Baal-Sh: on the one hand, it facilitated burden of belief who could not be carried while even the one who observed everything and everything took out, could not be confident in future world; on the other hand, he also tried to strengthen Jewry in the sense that the European education which then already began to get to all people would not damage to Jews as to the people. Wise Baal-Sh Tov then already understood value of talmudical expression which he updated and extended among the followers: "Three things saved Israel: the fact that did not change the clothes, language and names" 3
Baal-Sh Tov also extended the system to the Torah, Prophets, the Writing and the Talmud.
First of all Baal-Sh Tov broke the black wall which is put up by misnagida between Jewry and pleasure, between belief and life. He told that the Lord derives pleasure from pleasure, from life therefore even food and drink – too charitable business. Koeny4, for example, had to taste from sacrificial meat in the holy site, in the Precept tabernacle. The Jew therefore has to serve God with pleasure as it is told in the Torah in the book Dvarim, 5 Also we find at Shmuel who told Shaul: (Shmuel-alef, 10,5; in the Russian tradition "The first book of kingdoms", 10,5): "… you will meet an assembly of the prophets descending from height and ahead of them a harp, and timpan, both a pipe, and a kinnor; and they prophesy". From this it follows that prophets could not prophesy, otherwise as playing. In the book "Divrey Ha-yamim" (I.e. Chronicles, in the Russian tradition 1 and 2 books Chronicles) is also available: when David offered a lot of gold and silver for the Temple, he told in the prayer: "… and the people your, being here, with pleasure endow to You" (the 1st book, 29,17), is also in Psalms, 43,4; 70,23): "Also I will come to the God's altar, to God of pleasure, my fun, and on a kinnor I will glorify You, God, my God! … My lips when I eulogize You, and my soul which was helped out by You" (71,23) will sing. Is available also in Psalms, 68,4: "And righteous persons will rejoice, to exult before God and to triumph in pleasure". And Midrash speaks about it: [Having begun to pray, let at you on heart it will be joyful that you pray to the Lord who does not have similar. Because it is the real pleasure. On heart at the person let it will be cheerful because divine presence is shown only in pleasure of execution of a precept" 6. The majority cited here is taken from Luzzato's book)]. In Psalms 100,2: "You serve the Lord in pleasure, appear before him with singing". In Psalms 104,34: "Yes It has a kind feeling for my words; I will rejoice to the Lord". In Psalms, 149,2: "Yes Israel to the Creator rejoices, sons of Zion yes will rejoice about the Tsar". In the Song of songs: "Attract me, for you we will run. The tsar brought me into the rooms – we will rejoice and we will rejoice with you" (1,4).
The famous rabbi Moshe Haim Luzzato living to Besht wrote in the book "Way of Just" that the Jew has to clear only the heart before God. Already in the preface he speaks:" Most of people consider that piety is expressed in frequent repetition of tunes, in very long confessions, heavy posts – in all these things opposite to reason. But the true, desirable and pleasant piety is far from this representation" 7. In chapter 18, arguing on piety degree, he speaks about what is done harm to spirit of piety in the opinion of the people and the educated people considering that piety is engaged in such nonsenses contradicting common sense such things. It seems to them that all piety consists in the address with many requests, in crying, in bows and in absurd tortures which themselves try to semi-death iznurit8. No, not in it piety! And he lists good degrees which the person has to reach while the word "Hasid" the 9-highest degree, above, than "цадик" 10, and is shown in warm veseliya, in an animation. As it is told by our wise men, their memory is blessed: "Divine presence is shown not in grief" 11
And Baal-Sh deepened and expanded thought that the Jew has to serve the Lord only with pleasure. The person should not indulge in melancholy and grief. It has to be always joyful and cheerful, and in it true service to the Lord. Besides, the Jew has to avoid any bad properties, in particular pride which is mother of all defects. Jews have to live in peace. Should not be great and small – and then Rescue will come.
But as Jews for the present do not live in the country and are scattered over the different countries and the cities, to each group of Jews it is necessary to choose in each place to himself the Rebbe who it is indisputable was at the head of group and whose word would be sacred for all group! That it could not contradict on a hair. As Gemara in the treatise Rosh ha-Shana12-tells Term), 25 – 72: "Iyerubavel in the generation – as Moshe in the, Is given in the generation – as Aaron in the, Yiftakh in the generation – as Shmuel in the from where – the man of science, there is it the simply appointed by the head of a community becomes the most powerful".
Each thought of Jews of that group has to be directed to this person, they have to trust him all the secrets, they have to open for him the troubles and pleasures, the heart and soul, and only this way there can be at Jews a unity and the world. And the world – a basis of all.
It is clear, that these words precisely approached the dried-up, sad misnagidsky time. There were they – as a good rain for the dried-up field. And Jews rushed to Hasidic Judaism. The same belief, the same religion, same "Shulkhan-arukh", but is easier: easier life, easier religious burden – and with pleasure, delight and ecstasy. And, above all – all are equal, all are equal, any ikhus!
It is not necessary to torture itself to death now, it is not necessary to suffer, on the contrary – to eat the best dishes, to drink the best wines – if only were. Eating and drinking the best wines, it is possible to serve also well God as prayers and the doctrine if only to eat in glory of the Lord, with cheerful heart, with pleasure, with pleasure. The Jew always has to be cheerful and vigorous, should not feel humiliated in the Jewry even if he not uchyon. God can serve as thought, feeling, even groan.
At misnagid even scientists are humiliated in Jewry affairs. They adhere to what was told by the talmudist of the river Zeera13: "If the first – sons of angels, then we are sons human and if the first – sons human, then we are donkeys, and not such donkeys as Hanina ben-Dosa's donkey and river of Pinkhas Bin-Yair, and just donkeys" 14.
On system of Baal-Shem, Jews – very important people, and, in effect, no genius and unusual endowments is necessary. There are they – of course well, and is not present – too it does not matter. All Jews can be righteous persons – uneducated as well as scientific, there is enough also kind heart. Statements stuck to Misnagida: "Uneducated cannot be pious" 15. It is wrong. The uneducated person with kind heart can be the best Jew, more pious, than the most great expert Uchenya.
As it is told, Jews rushed to Hasidic Judaism. For the simple Jew the Hasidic Judaism was true happiness - its actions now extremely rose. Besides, earlier in bet-ha-midrashe it there was no person – for himself, and for others. And here, in the Hasidic shtibl as called Hasidic bet-ha-midrash, it – as equals with the biggest expert. As well poor people – as equals with the richest. Scientific misnagida which the Hasidic Judaism also pleased with the fact that exempted from melancholy became noisy, live and deeply thinking what before they were incapable of. For them the new sphere - mysticism and servitude as poetry of binge when you drink good wine also opened. And attracted all and attracted Hasidic Judaism the atmosphere of freedom. Misnagid is always anxious. By a holiday he has to celebrate to himself new clothes as in bet-ha-midrashe very much look at clothes. Without having new clothes, he is ashamed of the one who goes well dressed. At Hasidim the care of clothes absolutely disappeared as cares in general. There, in the Hasidic shtibl, beautiful things do not play any role. Nobody watches in what caftan this or that Hasid goes. All are equal.
In the Hasidic shtibl nobody owns any place, there are no places at all, everyone prays where he wants, and in general, at Hasidim do not stand on one place during a prayer, turn, rush – the temperament does not allow to stand, it is necessary to move. Hasidim walk up and down during a prayer. Will stand at East side, then at a door, then from South side, with northern – in a word, turn.
Also they do not care for the general prayer: one read "The one Who only said", others – "Praise …" is blessed, those are "eighteen blessings", and that smokes a pipe. To smoke at them – too a mitsv. And there in a corner – several Hasidim gathered. At one - a vodka bottle with a shot glass, he drinks "le-haim" with all campaign of Jews. Those already prayed even before the others. Kotsky Hasidim can drink "le-haim" even to a prayer, approaches, singing, one more, several boys sing along with him – there is a fun.
Pride at Hasidim in general is absent as if it is not in the world at all. All are equal, the poor with the rich, uneducated with scientists, young people with adults. The majority with each other "on first-name terms", is hated by "vykanye". "Roaring" for them – like anti-Hasidic Judaism.
Only the one who can well, with eagerness to speak, has a pleasant, sincere voice, will be highly appreciated at Hasidim. As well the one who has in himself a lot of fun can drink and dance, will be strongly loved. And if he wishes to dance, then will pull for himself Hasidim, and they will respond. He can be young, poor or absolutely simple person – it is unimportant. It will pull for itself(himself) the biggest rich man, the biggest expert, the oldest old man, and will dance even on weekday. And if the old rich man is lazy sometimes that actually happens seldom, he will be patted shoulder and it is pulled for a beard until he starts dancing. Also he has to drink, and having got drunk, will start dancing like a sailor.
Hasidim have always a holiday, always fun. If at someone yortsayt16, from it vodka is already due to Hasidim in the shtibl. If he is a poor – rich men give it vodka. And if yortsayt at the rich man – he has to provide vodka more, society drinks after a prayer - and there is a fun. In fact, at them every day – like a holiday. Here - yortsayt at the rabbi, arrange a meal and drink, eat and sing; there – the guest, and again the same; and here just someone wanted to pokutit – etc.
On Saturday before slikhot when all misnagida fall into the biggest gloom, preparing for Yom Kippur when in it is bet-ha-midrashakh read in twilight with plaints of "Le-menatseakh" 17, here, in the Hasidic shtibl, true fun reigns. In the same Saturday twilight at Hasidim sing late, still later, than every Saturday, and on an end of Saturday cook a krupnik with meat, bring vodka and beer (a krupnik cook in the Hasidic shtibl or at the neighbor), and different chants are heard all evening till the dead of night. Then all Hasidim gather again, is short and with rise read slikhot, and in half an hour already with them finish. Then set the table. If the krupnik is ready – go to eat and if is not present – sing and with all the heart dance. And so booze till the dawn. Agree at night to go to the Rebbe, decide how many it is necessary trucks, etc. The poor sat down next to the rich. Each poor adheres to some rich man for a trip. And it is interesting – the poor chooses the rich man, but not the rich man – the poor. And if the poor chose, say, Haim, then Haim cannot refuse to him. On the contrary, the rich man will clap it on a back, the poor will hit back, and all will laugh. To the bigger rich man two poor Hasidim, and to bigger – three, four will be beaten. My father had "" hasidelekh: Avram, Girsh and Motel going with it together each Rosh - ha - Shana to the Rebbe.
To the Rebbe to Rosh - ha - Shana there went more than a third of Hasidim. And the others who did not go came to carry out driving off. Gave leaflets with requests to Rebbes in whom this or that addressed the Lord.
And as Hasidim lived all year I, it appears, described in appropriate places of the memoirs.
As I already told, the Hasidic Judaism was suitable for all parts and classes of the people: for poor and rich, for uneducated and scientific, for old and young. A rich Hasid to be – the enviable share, is better, than the biggest rich man from misnagid. And not only in the opinion of Jews – the rich and devout Christian of course, did not know pleasures which were destiny of the rich Hasid. At the last the house is full of singing, ecstasy and big pleasure.
Only I the Hasid could not become. My soul to Hasidic Judaism did not lie. First of all I was pushed away from Hasidic Judaism by a question about the Rebbe scary alien to character of a misnagid. The Rebbe in itself still can be stood. But turmoil around, its improbable value and the fact that the position of the Rebbe is descended as at tsars – pushed away absolutely. I could not believe at all that there has to be a person moreover not chosen, and inherited which could state what is on heart, to entrust all mistakes occurring by nature or habits. And that this person taught you how to be improved, win against the bad nature, bad habits, etc. And to obey him.
From Hasidic Judaism I in youth was also pushed away that I saw at poor Hasidim much as badly there live their wives. Husbands, Hasidim, were always cheerful and vigorous, ate, drank, danced and sang together with other Hasidim, and their wives and children stayed at home in cold and hunger.
Happened that the Hasidic worker earned only ten zloties or two rubles a week. They washed mutton skin in the winter in the river, and their wives and children endured hunger and cold. But men after work went in shtibl, had fun, boozed and sang and, apparently, were distressed a little that the wife and children sit in the cold apartment hungry.
To me it spoiled pleasure. It is psychologically possible to understand the beggar: what for advantage of that, as he will stay at home with the grieving wife and with children? What, it it will warm them, will amuse? But it strongly influenced me, and I liked more gloomy misnagida which do not rejoice, do not dance and do not sing, but are with the wives and children more, bearing on themselves heavy burden of maintenance of a family.
Against Hasidim I had, naturally, as well theoretical arguments as I already wrote, but here it is important to mention a practical side because of which I, apparently, in particular could not agree with system. And here still that: it was necessary to be able to forget about real life and to completely indulge in singing and carelessness. I it was not able, and from me no Hasid could turn out.
I have to mention one more lack of Hasidic Judaism which then badly influenced me. Hasidim cannot have big scientists. The capable Hasidic boy with a good head – will be gone. He does not study, spends time for nothing, and it very much depressed.
But misnagidsky children were engaged much, really knew much, and pottered with them much. The Misnagidsky boy worked. And I wanted to work also the nobility. And so I absolutely moved away from Hasidic Judaism …

Chapter 27:
[1] I.e., from the middle of August to the middle of November.
[2] One of prayers of morning church service describing the aromas applied in the Jerusalem temple. The belief in salutary power of prayer is based on the bible text describing Aaron's actions during the Outcome for the termination of a pestilence: "… it assigned mix of aromas and expiated the people. Also there was it between dead and live, and the pestilence stopped" (Bemidbar, 17,12-13.
[3] A palm branch - one of four ritual objects used during a holiday of Sukkot.
[4] "There is no place".
[5] "There is enough place".

Chapter 28:
1 In this case in the treatise submission to will of God means that is interpreted by the author's grandmother, according to national tradition, in the spirit of relationship with neighbors.
2 1795-1846, one of ancestors of the Jewish education in Russia.

Chapter 29:
1 I.e., Tanakh and Talmud.
2 See Baal-Sh Tov, hl. 18.
3 The Author gives saying from midrashy (but not from the Talmud) in "updated", that is inexact option.
4 Descendants of ancient priestly estate at Jews.
5 "Here words" - by the first words of initial chapter of the fifth book, in the Russian tradition "Deuteronomy), 28,47: "For the fact that you did not serve God to omnipotent yours, to pleasure and to cheerful heart" - for it to you there will be a trouble".
6 The author united the quote from the moralizing book of Luzzato Moshe-Haim, 1707-1747, the kabbalist, the poet and the moralist from Italy "A way just" with the talmudical statement from the treatise of Brakhot (Blessing), [the Sabbath, 30, 72].
7 "Way just".
8 In the same place, page 83.
9 Pious.
10 In the same place, gl.19, page 87-88.
11 The modified quote from the Talmud, the treatise of Brakhot provided above it is also inexact.
12 Section "Moed" ("Holiday").
13 Amoray from Erets Israel of the end 3 - the beginnings of 4 century.
14 Sabbath, 112,72. The cat refers to talmudists of the previous generations in the quote which is provided by him as an example of the attitude towards figures of the previous generations as to unconditional authorities whose judgments cannot be challenged.
15 of "Lecture of fathers", 82,8.
16 Anniversary of death (Yiddish).
17 A psalm 67, in orthodox tradition 66.
 



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